Haloumi
Tuesday, August 12th, 2008
Dear baldmonkey
Haloumi is my favourite cheese. I want to be open about my cheese preference with my friends and family, but I’m scared that they’ll reject me. My family are very narrow minded; they believe that having a taste for any other cheese apart from mature cheddar, is unnatural and unpatriotic. My Dad and his brothers boast of beating a kid unconscious when they were at school just because they caught him with another boy sharing a babybel! I don’t want to be the way I am, but Haloumi is so delicious. Should I be honest with my family or should I hide my dirty, abnormal desires from them?
Big Jim Pickaxe
I see what you’ve done there. Very good. You’ve described a fear of coming out as homosexual to your family but you’ve swapped homosexuality for eating cheese. Well done.
Seriously, though, many people do have a fear of being themselves around their families in case they disapprove. And rightly so. Why should your parents accept you for what you are, when you lead such a revolting life? If the things you do are too shameful to be told to your parents, perhaps you shouldn’t do them. And if you can’t stop yourself, don’t carry on in secret; kill yourself, like a real man.