Wildlife
Sunday, September 21st, 2008Dear baldmonkey,
As a famous television nature reporter I am seen by the public as a kind and caring animal lover. The truth is, I hate the little furry cunts. Often when I go home I spend the evening stamping on weasels and emptying kettles of boiling water into nests of baby blue tits for a laugh.
I once squashed a guinea pig with a shovel because someone dared me to. It was a right laugh. I fucking hate animals a LOT.
Regards,
Bill Oddie
Bill,
I fail to see the problem. Unless you are running out of original ways to kill animals. Try tethering a pigeon to the ground then clapping a lot. With any luck it will be so scared it will fly away really fast and rip itself in half.
Sometimes monkeys rape frogs in the mouth, but that isn’t really relevant.